Kabluwwy. Kawhat? How did I get this way? Huh?
I learned so much about my limits this weekend.
Tim says to me in class Sunday, “Eh, why are you shaking?” (during purvottanasana) People laugh. During uttplutihi, “Eh, more shaking…” I send him a funny face- he laughs (still in uttplutihi). After class, “Cameron, long time no see.” It’s been about three years and the man remembers my name even after not being anything resembling a regular student. “What was with all the shaking?”
Me: “Oh, because I never usually work that hard!”
Of course, it didn’t help that I was in the first row of the class. Nor did it help that during purvottanasna the floor was so wet from my sweat that I had not one ounce of traction with my feet.
It was hotter than hell in that room, and the counts were long. I spent the entire practice embodying the words of my teacher from the previous weekend regarding keeping the nervous system in line. It really worked. The discussion on the nervous system two Sundays ago was probably the most influential yoga discussion I’ve had in years. It’s led me to practice in a way that has overcome a series of adverse situations that would have normally overwhelmed my abilities: the practices after the car accident, the abnormal situation of the led class, and finally the mysore class this morning. Even though I was shaking in a couple poses yesterday, I never let my breath get out of control, nor my mind or body…much better than the previous Sunday where I pushed way beyond my limits. The heat and count length meant every moment required me to consciously keep myself below the edge of too much-ness. When the awareness is directed in such a way it completely changes the practice…much less effort, much more reward. And a calmness in the face of adversity that is very settling.
Full practice today. First time in a week. First time since the car accident. First mysore class with Tim Miller. Though very sore, keeping my attitude in line with nervous system harmony brought about a great practice. My back was very open, thankfully. Though my muscles were sore from the day before, I was able to incorporate that and work within my limits again. The soreness today is intense, but it’s more of a getting-in-shape soreness than a you-shouldn’t-have-done-that soreness.
Tim also said to me in Sunday’s class (during ubhaya padangusthasana), as he slowly opened my toes with his hands, “Eh, old feet. Very old feet- many wrinkles.” I guess the soles of my feet look like an old man’s. That’s a new one.
I’ve decided that when I come back the next time, I want to be one of those little dogs that gets carried around in a Louis Vuitton bag by a wealthy lady.
Time this weekend with Neti and Mrs. Neti, Tiff, Julie, and everyone else we saw was fabulous. Thanks for the wonderful hospitality, the kind conversations, and the floorspace! Oh, and Ms. S…keep that fire going baby, you deserve it. So glad it’s lit again.
The purpose of each connection I make becomes clearer sooner with every day I grow older. I’m so thankful to feel that in real time rather than having to wait for the hindsite perspective.
