Fry dae October 14, 2005

Finished up with Manju this morning. I unceremoniously left the led primary series after Janu C to do my finishing postures in another room. Our practice was at the one hour mark. That’s right. One hour to Janu C. I was breathing slow to keep up with his counts, but it was still 10 breath holds, which would be more like 15-17 of my normal breaths. I should’ve breathed faster- I was cold as ice once we got down to the floor.

I actually dozed off in Janu B on the left side!

I’m not in shape to hold poses for that long without overstretching. And I’m certainly not flexible enough to go into the marichyasanas totally cold without injuring my knees. So I left. And I was so cold at that point that backbends were out of the question. So a breviated finishing series and a half-hour savasana nap followed my anticlimactic fourth day of practice.

I had to take yesterday off.

When I teach for 7 hours straight on Wednesdays after working most of the morning and don’t get home until 10, it’s hard to wake up at 5:40 to bust my ass. But I did get three fantastic practices in Mon-Wed. I really enjoyed Manju’s touch. Glad I had the experience.

Home practice tomorrow morning.

It’s been a big week. I’m writing a fellowship, I have a paper to write on deck, I’m teaching (which includes a lot of grading), and doing research in between. I’m thankful it’s Friday. Very thankful. Going to sit down with some wine this evening methinks.

Manju day 2 October 11, 2005

I don’t know what’s gotten in to me.

But I like it.

Woke up yesterday at quarter to 6 with no problem. Hit the mat for the first day of Manju and wound up doing not only a full primary, but my full practice. Everything feels great.

And today, more of the same. With some added soreness. That’s to be expected. My strength hasn’t faltered, surprisingly. My back was more open today- got to my heels without help in chakra bandhasana. Well, Manju was there with a towel around my waist, but he wasn’t helping at that point. He had backed off and let me take my own weight. Moral support tho- much appreciated.

I do spend a decent amount of time trying not to panic.

Manju doesn’t like that my left knee doesn’t go down when I’m in half lotus on that side, so he comes over and pushes it down. And my head to the floor in mari B on both sides, which is way more than I’m used to. And he even came over to me in matsyasana to make sure that left knee got to the ground. I’m surprised that I don’t feel more pain. That was the knee that got buggered a couple months back that slowed me down. I’m surprised at my ability to surrender to his adjustment. I’m surprised that today it felt better than yesterday.

There was pranayama and chanting after asana practice. Yesterday I stayed, today I didn’t. I wanted to get a head start in the lab. Maybe I’ll stay tomorrow. It’s always better to learn sanskrit from someone who actually speaks it. The written pronunciations don’t do justice to the sounds. At all. And Manju has some really nice things to say. I liked that.

So, it feels like I’m back to my schedule. I’m just going to have to hold on to it when Manju leaves. This semester is really taking a hack at me. So much to do. Thankfully, some of those things have a deadline, which means there’s an ending.

Sputtering October 6, 2005

A minimum practice this morning. None yesterday. To Janu A the day before, minimum before that, to Janu A last Sunday….

I can’t remember the last time I did a full primary.

My strength has returned mostly from this sickness I was facing. Now it’s a matter of changing habit. My health is good. My research is grand. The stress of maintaining these and my teaching and personal life are presenting an massive challenge to my practice.

But I am getting on the mat 5x a week.

My body is softening in good ways. Relaxation of tissue. My hips are opening more. My back is nice and happy. Ironically, I’ve lost weight.

How profound some of this is, and unexpected, when I just let the course of life take me where I need to be. Not fighting the path, just working within it, letting my body decide.

I’ve kept my riding up, and that’s staying nice. I love only buying gas once a month at the most. I love not being monetarily affected by the energy policy of our nation. I fly by cars during rush hour and watch the surprised looks on drivers faces in downtown as I easily keep pace. There is so much freedom on a bike.

It’s getting colder. And drier. The air has shifted, and fall is definitely here. A crispness occupies the late and early hours even though the days are still warm. My skin is already telling me that the Vata season is near. Scarves will be worn soon, and sweaters.

I’m going to have to get a space heater for my home practice. Ah yes, that too- I’ve been praciticing at home mostly.

But the snapback may come next week: Manju will be here and I’ve already paid so I’m committed. 6:30-9, Monday thru Friday. I’m looking forward to an infusion for my practice, though the level of stress and business I feel right now causes me some pause. I’m less enthusiastic about the workshop than I was when I signed up. But the energy of the shala, the teacher, and the students will be good for me, I know.