Roughin’ it September 28, 2005

Rough is hardly the way to describe it. Two minimum practices in the last two days, and this only to stave off the sinking feeling of my practice slipping away.

I’ve been sick without being sick. Tired, exhausted. Unable to get out of bed. I can’t remember feeling like this before. Especially when I’m getting a consistent 8 hours of sleep. I don’t understand what is happening to me. It’s going around up here. This mysterious illness that keeps people down for a few weeks, sometimes without them ever feeling the symptoms. Ugh.

I’m weak and shaky, and everything hurts. My body is totally rejecting my practice. I’m still getting there though.

September 22, 2005

Sitting down with a Rhone blend watching Star Wars. Long day. Began with a minimum practice, ended with some fantastic data. Finally.

Big meeting tomorrow. One of those career-defining-moment-type meetings. Gonna wear a tie.

I love getting dressed up.

Yesterday was a full primary. Lotsa energy. But I wanted to conserve some of it for my long teaching day. Neti came to the studio, which always gives me energy. Got to have breakfast with him afterwards. Life has gotten so hectic since the summer. I don’t get to see my friends as much. Part of the compromise of a career I guess.

And a relationship.

Together.

Still juggling.

My teacher has been gone this week. I really miss him when he goes.

I paid for my week with Manju Jois. He’ll be here the second week of October. I’m really looking forward to having that experience.

Of course, putting together a couple consistent weeks before then would be a fucking charmer too.

Grumble September 20, 2005

Standing on the mat, reciting the prayer under my breath. My head throbbed above my left eye. First sun salutation. Coming back to standing after jumping forward I almost vomited.

Second sun salutation wasn’t much better. I pressed on.

By the end of the third B I was convinced I’d only do standing and finishing poses. My head was hurting, the nausea was still there.

But I felt fairly strong and flexible.

Finished standing poses and decided to go through janu C. I needed more for the hips. And I wanted to get some backbends in.

Finishing was long. Savasana was longer. This was the slowest practice in memory. Over an hour to get to janu C, do backbends, and finish up.

Recovering still from a mysterious illness that showed no symptoms save severe exhaustion. Like I couldn’t get out of bed. Like I couldn’t even open my eyes. After 10 hours of sleep! That’s what my life was like from Thursday morning to Sunday morning. I was downing herbs and juices like it was my last opportunity on earth to do so. While it kept things at bay, I was still unable to retain any energy. Yesterday I felt better, but gave myself the extra rest just to clean things up.

Finally. 6am wasn’t the bane of my existance. It was welcomed. And despite the terrible feelings from within during practice, I’ve felt fabulous all day. Thank God I’m back on the mat.

Reduction September 14, 2005

Seems like I may be getting sick. J’s had it for a week. Lots of sleep last night, but sun salutations proved to me that something is afoot. Slowed down the breath. Let the poses open me up slowly. I almost felt like I was practicing AFTER I’d been sick.

Primary to triyang mukha eka pada paschimottanasana. Time to stop there. Long rest in savasana. Lots of fluids, lots of herbs.

Yesterday second series. Lotus was back. Castor oil worked. Even had a reasonable lotus today, despite the trucated practice. I love that stuff.

Last time I was sick was the beginning of summer. Now I’m fighting stuff and it’s the beginning of fall. At least here it is. The weather changed dramatically a week and a half ago. Temps went downhill. Not surprising that my body needs some adjustment time.

Frosted Flakes September 12, 2005

Back to full practice for the new week. The little demon in my head was very active this morning. First he attempted to stop me at navasana. Then the end of primary series. But I scoffed eventually and completed my full practice. He got me good though as I came out of sirsasana. There are some images that make you feel sick no matter how many times you’ve fought them off. I got to go through that again right as I was feeling peaceful. I used padmasana to flood the space of pain with love. Love for all of those who have touched our lives, however indirectly….

Didn’t pull off full pasasana with heels down again. Damn. But unassisted chakra bandhasana was good for me. It just so happened that 4 of us stood up for assisted backbends at the same time. I didn’t feel like waiting.

My knee decided that today it would conduct a protest to my way of life. Bastard. I’ll fling some castor oil it’s way tonight and see if I can pacify the little fucker. It’s becoming a bad influence: my right knee was even grumpy today. Falling apart I tell you.

Saturday September 10, 2005

First series yesterday and today. Trying to dig myself out of the hole I fell into after teaching 7 hours straight on Wednesday night. Woke up Thursday morning wondering where the Mack truck was that hit me the night before….

I don’t know if two back to back 3 hour labs with my office hours in between is the right thing for me.

But I love teaching. I just need to do better at sustaining myself. Tea, or something. Cocaine maybe.

Late nights in the lab haven’t been helping either. Thankfully my key card to the building gave out Friday, so I can’t go in after hours even if I wanted to. Which I don’t.

Getting on top of the literature in my field and grading papers. That’s what I’m doing this weekend. That and getting my practice back a little. And my body. Taking some care of the lady too- she’s sick. But the weather’s awesome, and there is riding that must be done too….

Rockemsockem September 6, 2005

Back to the full practice. Working in a couple more second series poses the last couple days. Today I just decided to go to the end. Full sequence, full room. What happened while I was gone? It’s like the whole world suddenly realized how badass my teacher is. Now they’re all here. Every day. Since I’ve been back, it’s been 30-40 folks each morning. I love that kind of energy.

9am mysore class is the bomb. Why does that only happen on holidays?

Long conversations with the lady and Neti yesterday regarding ashtanga. I love doing that. And riding bikes. Though I do that every day.